!the BIGGUN hates YOU!
My freshman year of high school I met a fellow named Kyle.
Kyle was a rich kid with a psycho vet for a father and a q-tip for a mother. He always gave me the creeps, though he generally meant well.
Kyle developed an obsession with my breasts. He would grab them if I didn't keep an eye on his scrawny ass.. and after a few beatings, he stopped.. but he didn't stop obsessing. I don't think he has to this day...
Kyle shows up on my doorstep every couple of months to tell me what hideously stupid things he's done lately. The weird bastard -wants- me to tell him he's stupid.. he -needs- me to tell him that it's moronic to fuck married women. It's as if he requires my disapproval to function properly in life...
He came to me recently to inform me of his latest foolish activities.
During this visit he inquired about my virginal status.
So he leaves, and I'm relieved and everything's all fine and dandy until he calls me a few days later. I suppose that's my own fault for giving him my working phone number, but I didn't think he would actually call.
We were chatting cordially when he says
"Can I ask you a question?"
I said he could and Kyle says to me, he says "Will you sleep with me?"
To which I responded "WHAT?!?"
And Kyle chuckled and acted like he was kidding when I know damn good and well that he was not. He quickly changed the subject and after a few more minutes of uncomfortable conversation, the call ended.
After hanging up the phone, it occurred to me - I will never get rid of this man. He will be right behind me for the rest of my life. No matter what I do or where I go, Kyle will be there lusting after me and begging for abuse.
Curse all of these strange people that pop out of nowhere and follow me around!
I'm tired
of getting up
and bathing
and going to work
and coming home
and sleeping
and getting up
just to do it again...
So I didn't sleep...
I'm still up...
Got tonight off
but all there is to do
is try to decide
if I wanna watch
Jerry Springer or
"America's New War" or
Bonanza reruns or
bad soap operas...
It's times like this
that makes me understand
why all I wanna do
is smoke pot and
watch The X-Files.
